FairytailMama

New Tummy part 2!

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 23:23:19 -0400

I wanted to give a quick update. I’m now 11 weeks post-op. I’ve returned to all normal daily activities. No more taking it slow… This mama is back on full time duty.
I started physical therapy at 6 weeks. My surgeon never suggested or recommended I do this. It was important to me to help get my body strong and healthy. Now that everything was back where it was supposed to be I wanted to make sure I didn’t let those bad habits continue. The place I’m going is great, they specialize in women’s posture issues and we’re using Posture Restoration Therapy. My hips were out of alignment, I needed to strengthen some areas while releasing tension in others. It’s slow progress but I can feel a difference already. I’ve only been doing core work (and very moderate at that) for two weeks. It’s also been about changing habits… Like wearing more supportive shoes in the house, playing attention to my stance while doing dishes or laundry, and even sleep positioning. It’s all making a difference. I wish I’d gone to PT postpartum, I’m sure it could have helped my Diastis Recti early on. Even a visit pre-op would have been helpful - giving techniques for getting back into feet in the safest way. The thing I love about this therapy is the holistic approach. The whole body is one unit all working together. If one area is weak it leads to misalignment which causes you to try to correct by torquing to realign which causes pain. It just makes sense to me. I feel like a lot of people could benefit from this therapy.
I’ve yet to get into any kind of workout routine. I too apprehensive to try yoga… Particularly the prone poses (like cobra) because I’m not yet able to stretch my abdomen like that. I’ll get there soon enough. It also hard to get out even for a walk with the kids because this Minnesota winter is not letting up (there are still several feet of snow in our yard… Last St. Patty’s it was in the 80’s here, which was a record, but still!).
It’s hard to make myself do my exercises!

Facebook Detox.

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:11:56 -0400

I don’t know if its the long, never ending winter. Or the promise of Spring just around the corner. Spring cleaning. Getting healthy. Detoxifying.
I was starting to feel too engaged in Facebook. I’m ready for the new leaf that seems to turn in all of us every year at this time. What better place to start? Facebook detox.
Several people have been publicly announcing their departure… and finality of it. I’m not swearing off the FB forever nor did I feel the need to share this status. I have a feeling that no one has even noticed I’m gone and I will be back eventually. I get my fix from Instagram. I am still following a few blogs. I’m making an effort to reach out to actual people. It’s been several days and I don’t miss it. Do you think you would?

Back in the hoop.

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 18:19:06 -0500

Today I decided to see how it would feel to get into my hoop again! My hoopla only lasted a few minutes but it was fun. I’m still pretty tender in the areas I can feel… Still numb in some spots… But it makes me hopeful that I can become active again soon!

Shopping...

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:57:04 -0500

I was at Khol’s today doing some shopping for the kids birthdays. I have yet to even think about shopping for clothes for my self. But today I realized, while walking past the woman’s department (and swimsuits), that shopping is going to be quite different for me now. No more searching for shirts and dresses that will hide my tummy while not making me look pregnant. No more ruffles and ruching on swimsuits for camouflage. I’m not ready to shop yet. But I’m looking forward to it.

New Tummy!

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 09:02:29 -0500

This post is long over due.

It’s a new year. New beginnings. Fresh start. Clean slate.

This year I am starting off the year with a new body! Seriously.

My surgery was December 27th, 4 weeks ago. I’ve been wanting to write and share my experience sooner but I’ve been in a drug and pain induced fog for the last several weeks. I’ve been making mental notes along the way though.

I had done research prior to surgery, finding blogs where people shared (in great detail) the experience. I found THIS one particularly informative and I watched every post. My expectations were realistic… I think. In the days leading up to it I was very nervous about the pain, but was hopeful that it would be manageable and that my high pain tolerance would be my ally. Once I was in the pre-op room I was getting excited. The day had finally come. My doctor came in a few minutes before to discuss the surgery details, answer questions, and then mark my stomach. I walked back to the OR laid down on the table and that was it. I woke-up about 3 hours later, disoriented and in pain, which they quickly got under control. Matt came into the recovery room at some point and said that the doctor told him that everything went really well, I had a VERY significant separation but that it all came together nicely. Once I had regained a bit more consciousness they sent me home.

The first few days are kind of a blur. Hard, but honestly not anywhere near as bad as I had expected. I had an IV pain pump going directly into my incision and I am sure that helped a ton! Many people have drains for the fluid that builds up but my doctor uses a technique called progressive tension stitching that eliminates the need for those… thankfully! Plenty of Percocet and sleeping those first days. By day two I was able to get up, with a lot of help. Day three I was able to eat an actual meal and was even able to roll myself out of bed to get up and go to the bathroom (at the time I remember feeling very accomplished at that). Day four I think I was able to eat most of my meals at the table with my family… but spending most of the day in bed sleeping and watching TV. By the third or fourth day I experienced the worst of the pain… surprisingly it wasn’t my tummy or the incision. It was back pain, muscle and nerve pain radiating from my lower back down the back of my legs. Day 5 was my first post-op visit, he said everything was looking good and he had to remove some of the fluid that had accumulated. He also explained that the back pain was very normal, especially for woman with such an extreme abdominal separation as I had. My back muscles had been doing most of the work and once things had been repaired my ab muscles were finally able to support. My back had to adjust to this new support. The back pain correlated to those first few days of being mobile and it was worst at the end of the day. It was also New Years Eve… and the doc said I was ok to take a shower… WOOHOO! For the first week I really didn’t get out of bed except to eat and use the bathroom, I didn’t go downstairs… I was heavily medicated and was just in hibernation mode. My mom, step-dad, and Uncle Rick were here for most of that first week… helping Matt with the kids and taking care of things around the house. It was a huge help to have them around. Everyday there was less pain and I had the ability to a little more. It’s been a tediously slow recovery. I’ve gone in weekly for my doc to check on my healing and remove more fluid if needed. Taking care of my family and my home is my job… and I’ve been “off” or “part-time” for a month. Matt’s parents were around to help out… and have been nearly everyday for the last month! Everyone has been doing so much to help take care of me and my kiddos… I couldn’t have done it without the help. I will never be able to express how grateful I am for all the help and for giving me the chance to recover.

I couldn’t be happier with the whole experience. I have the flattest stomach I’ve ever had in my life! I never imagined it would look like this. Never. It was immediate too! A few people have said that they didn’t realize that it would instantly look different. I am still wearing a binder, which helps keep me comfortable, supported and protects the incision. I still haven’t gotten a very good look at the incision, it has tape on it to help with healing. The incision goes all the way across, hip to hip… it’s quite a large scar but, from what I can see (peek at), it looks like a very fine line that will hopefully be nearly invisible eventually. I also have a new belly button. Weird. Basically, they disconnect the belly button “knot”, smooth out the skin “like straightening a bed sheet”, making a new hole for the “knot” and reconnect it. It looks very different than before… but that said, it was looking pretty strange after being turned inside out with two pregnancies. The other thing I’m actually happy about is that I still have stretch marks. I have always embraced the marks as a badge of honor that I earned by carrying three babies in my belly. I had lots before, so I was pretty sure that they weren’t going to disappear. My goal was never to be sporting a bikini or showing off my mid section. I really just wanted to have my body restored to working order.

Today was the first day that I can honestly say that I feel pretty good. Pain is minimal as long as I know my limits. I can already feel the back pain I was experiencing on a daily basis prior to surgery has subsided. I am standing straighter. I can feel my pelvis is in a correct position. I am so excited about all these changes! I begin physical therapy in a few weeks and I’m looking forward to strengthening and relearning how to move. Yoga and hooping will be in my future again soon! I seriously cannot wait. It really does feel like a new beginning. No amount of working out would have brought me to this point. I don’t believe that if I’d taken more action, post-partum, to fix or support my abdominal separation that it would have made a difference. I had been stretched beyond my limits with a 10.5lb baby boy and 12.5lbs of baby girls 2 years later… which I’m so proud of, but they did a number on my body. I am amazed that modern medicine can bring me to this point. It’s also hard to believe that women everywhere are suffering just like I was and will just continue to walk around like that… I’m so happy that my insurance agreed that this was a medically necessary procedure (I’m still a little nervous that I’m going to get a crazy bill for all this even though I checked and called and asked everyone involved… I’ll believe it when I see it!) I read an article by a plastic surgeon who said that most insurance companies believe that Diastis Recti is a known medical risk associated with pregnancy and therefore will not cover the repair. This is crazy! For most people it would be far too expensive to pay for out of pocket.

I don’t want to scare anyone with all the gory details, but I’m happy to share more with anyone who has questions or wants to know more! Happy New Year!

Plastic surgery

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 08:21:00 -0500

I am not the kind of woman who thinks about plastic surgery… Or at least I didn’t think I was. I have always liked the idea of letting nature take its course and growing old gracefully. Wrinkles are not something that I really worry about. I didn’t mind the stretch marks that appeared with my first pregnancy, I wore them like a badge of honor for getting to carry such a big baby around in my belly all those months. Then again with the twins, just another badge on my belt (literally). After the twins were born I quickly realized that something was not quite right with my abdominal muscles. I mean right after they were born… After delivery I went back in my room I wanted to go meet my girls for real, they were in the special care nursery. When I went to stand up and had absolutely no strength in my core. None. I had to lift my belly up with my hands for support, I could barely stand. The nurse ended up bring me a wheelchair and a support band for my belly. I used the chair to get around, back and forth to the special care nursery for the first day or so. This might be a common happening for mothers of twins or mothers of large babies or in subsequent pregnancies. I didn’t remember this experience from the first time. One thing was obvious, my abdominal muscles had separated and I had developed a condition called Diastasis Recti. I recently heard it described as a rubberband that has been stretched so far that it’s lost all elasticity, it will never go back to its original shape. At one point I could fit at least 6 fingers in between the muscles, which is a huge separation from what I understand. My doctor said, “just give it some time.”. I don’t know how often abdominal separation is addressed in post partum care. I don’t think my doctor has had a lot of experience with this. He was supportive but didn’t have a lot of helpful suggestions for my recovery. I tried some core strengthening exercises specific to healing the separation that I found on the internet. Six months, a year, and now nearly two years later the issue has improved, but is still there, and significant. I am having back pain and shoulder pain… both of which are made worse by having three kiddos to be picking up all the time. I also know that I have bad posture, my back muscles are working harder because my core is so weak. I’m using my body in an inefficient way because things are not mechanically working the way they should. On top of all that, wearing clothes, any clothes, is an issue. The wrong kind of shirt makes me look like I’m five months pregnant. I am constantly feeling self conscious about my body. I can’t just “suck it in”. I have tried wearing shapeware, but it only smooths things out… but I still look pregnant! And who wants to wear those tight confining garments in the summer heat?! After much deliberation I decided to let my doctor know that I felt ready to explore the option of getting it repaired. He felt that by this time it was obvious that I was a good candidate and referred me to a plastic surgen.

The first step was going in for a consult. The plastic surgery office felt more like a spa… probably because half of it was. Everyone that worked there had obviously had “work done”, they were all pulled and tightened. It was actually kind of disturbing. I had to keep reminding my self that first of all, I’m not here because of vanity. Second, that I am just here to inquire and just get more information. It was not even an option unless my insurance was going to cover the procedure and this was the first step to finding that out. So, here I go, in to see a doctor who is here to nit-pick and analyze my body -everyones worst nightmare, right? I felt embarrassed. Especially when he suggested a little lipo here and there. Ugh. Just keep reminding myself that I’m only doing this if the insurance sees that it is medically necessary and I’m not adding in any extras. They gave me a quote after the appointment that reaffirmed that this was only happening if it was going to be covered. They said it would be a few weeks before I heard back from insurance.

Kind of anti-climatic. No decisions made. The doctor did think it was an appropriate surgery for me. He told me that typically anything more than a 3cm separation usually will not heal completely on its own. One thing I have to be sure of is that I am done having babies. Once I have the surgery if I was to get pregnant again it would destroy the repair and all the pain and recovery after the surgery would all be for nothing. So, that was a decision that I had to make, insurance would be making the decision to do it or not at all.

It’s weird to have someone tell you you need to decide if you are done having kids. I thought I was done. As soon as Hattie was delivered I looked over at Matt and said, “I’m never doing that again!”. But then when I had to decided, to know forsure that I was done, for real… that was another story. We discussed and weighed options. I never really loved the being pregnant part. I was always in pain and uncomfortable. It’s exahusting. Then taking care of a newborn again, sleeplessness, hormones going crazy, breastfeeding struggles… would we really want to go through all that again? Not really. But then having another little baby to love would be so wonderful. I had always wanted a big family. But I already have a big family and it’s prefect. Each and everyone of them is perfect and I can’t imagine asking for anything more. We both agreed upon that. I also know that I have my hands full at the moment and in light of this summer’s events I see that even more clearly.

Late one evening I recieved an email from my insurance… “Authorzation Approval”. What?! It was approved? After further inquiry I confirmed that it was. Wow, I kind of wasn’t expecting that. The doctor had told me at the appointment that it’s very rare for insurance to deem this procedure as medically necessary and it does not get approved very often. A few days later the doctors office called to let me know they had been notified of the approval and that I could call to set an appointmet for the surgery. Well. Then the decisions had been made. I was doing it.

I called a while back and set the appointment. One month from today this mama is getting a new tummy. Merry Christmas to me. I’m actually nervous. To go under the knife for something that feels voluntary is weird. I’ve heard the pain is pretty awful, the recovery will be hard, and I will be out of commission for awhile. My mom will be here to help for a week, Matt is going to take time off work to help out, and I know the rest of my family is going to help too. I’m worried about weeks 3+ post-op. It’s hard enough to deal with three crazy toddlers on a normal day let alone when I’m not running at full capacity. I’m sure this will not be my last post on the subject. I just felt like I needed to put it out there. Here is a visual to help you understand what’s happening…

a month of giving thanks: days 22-26

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 09:01:22 -0500

Apparently things got a little hectic last week. I have been a little overwhelmed by all that I have to be thankful for… and it was a busy weekend.
Day 22: The big day of thanks. We filled our home with family and friends. We filled our bellies with yummy food. I was thankful for doing both.
Day 23: I am thankful that my dad accompanied Matt on his shopping excursion. Somehow they ended up coming come with a giant tv, an indoor trampoline, and a playhouse! …maybe I should have gone along for that one. It will not be a boring winter in our house.
Day 24: I am thankful we got to take Oscar to Levi’s Christmas show (http://comedy-suitcase.com/index.php/xmasimpossible/). The scary mask and evil puppets might have been a little too much for him but he was very brave and well behaved. It’s fun us to have a special night out with our little guy.
Day 25: I’m thankful the leftovers are gone. The turkey broth has been frozen. And I have a clean, restocked fridge. Bring on a new week.
Day 26: I’m thankful for an attempt to get back to a routine. Lets hope the naptime shenanigans, running noses and teething cease this week.

a month of giving thanks: day 21

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 08:30:15 -0500

Several weeks ago I started a new ritual. I used to wait to hear from my kids and then I’d get up and going. But it started feeling too chaotic and like there was not enough time to get going and organized before we had to get out the door. So, I started actually getting up BEFORE the kids… What a revelation! I know lots of mamas get up and have their “me” time but I’d never been one of them. But now I am, and I get it. I don’t miss those last minutes of sleep. I get to sit quietly and drink a cup of coffee, alone. Some mornings I do some yoga, some mornings I just sit and watch the sun rise. I am thankful for my new found me time. It’s the calm before the storm.

a month of giving thanks: day 20

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 01:00:39 -0500

Today I’m thankful for my little Oscar. He was especially good today, which was helpful because the girls are unhappy teething gremlins with colds. He was well behaved, helpful, funny and the perfect little guy to share my day with. I was reminded this summer how lucky I am to have him in my life and I think about that everyday. I am thankful that I get to be his mommy.
This has always been one if my favorites.
The Prophet
by Kahlil Gibran

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.” And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

A day of giving thanks: day 18

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 09:32:04 -0500

Belated post.
I’m thankful for the few minutes of time in my hoop. I bought some new music (the newest Maroon 5), put on my earphones, and went out into the warm, sunny, November afternoon and hooped. I didn’t worry about who was watching, I just let it spin and had fun. Felt free. Felt happy. … Now if I could just do that everyday. It was renewing, just what I needed with this busy week ahead.

a month of giving thanks: day 17

Sat, 17 Nov 2012 22:05:29 -0500

I’m thankful that it worked!!! So far.
I have designed a custom banquet for our dining area. It’s been years since I’ve done furniture design. I’ve missed it. It’s been even longer since I’ve done any construction. This week Matt and I, as a team, went to The Mill (our maker studio) and built a prototype. Last night and this morning we went back and cut and prepped all the pieces! I learned to use a Shopbot CNC machine AND most importantly (and thankfully) successfully executed the design. Now, fingers crossed, with any luck we will have it assembled in time for Thanksgiving dinner!

a month of giving thanks: day 16

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 15:56:23 -0500

Today I am reminded how thankful that Claire and Sam live right down the street! “You need help getting your car to the shop? How ‘bout we just come get it and drop it off for you? Oh, and you’ll need help picking it up too? Sure? How ‘bout we watch your kids to you and Matt can have a night to your selves?” What would we do without you? Thanks guys!

a month of giving thanks: day 15

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 00:04:40 -0500

I’m thankful for my community. (St. Paul, the Twin Cities, Minnesota…) I’m proud to live in this place we call home. In particular today because it was Give to the Max Day here in Minnesota. http://givemn.razoo.com/giving_events/GTMD12/home
“Give to the Max Day is back as the best day to make the most of your charitable giving. From midnight to 11:59 p.m. on November 15, every donation you make gives your favorite nonprofit or school the chance to win even more money. It’s the Great Minnesota Give Together!”
It’s amazing to see a collective display of generosity and support! #GTMD12

a month of giving thanks: day 14

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 17:49:49 -0500

I’m thankful that I get to stay home with my kids. It’s not always fun, it’s messy, it’s hectic, it’s frustrating, it’s hard. But I love that I get to spend all day, everyday with my kids. I know not everyone can stay home. Not everyone would want to. I’m thankful I can.

a month of giving thanks: day 13

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 09:02:32 -0500

I didn’t mean to skip my thankfulness yesterday.
I am thankful for everyday. How general is that?! Ha. But really, I am. Everyday I wake up, healthy, and surrounded by the people I love. I can’t ask for more than that.

a month of giving thanks: day 12

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 07:49:51 -0500

Yesterday was busy. There was very little napping happening in our house. It was a frustrating day and a little hard to find my thankful place. So in reflection, I’m thankful for Matt arriving home earlier than expected. As well as my lovely in-laws that came shortly after so that Matt and I could have some time to go to our local maker’s shop to work on a special project… Together!
Thanks team Zabel!

a month of giving thanks: day 11

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 23:17:29 -0500

I am thankful for creativity. With in me, around me, and inspiring me.

a month of giving thanks: day 10

Sat, 10 Nov 2012 20:11:06 -0500

I’m thankful that today felt like a team effort. Some weekend days feel too busy, off routine… And even with daddy home to help there still never feels like enough time or energy to get through the day. Today was good. Smooth. Productive. It was nice to spend a day together just being a family.

a month of giving thanks: day 9

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 20:57:47 -0500

I’m thankful for good neighbors. This is the second home we’ve owned and both times we’ve gotten very lucky with our neighbors. They aren’t just friendly, nice people but they are some of the best friends we have.

a month of giving thanks: day 8

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 15:57:57 -0500

Today I am reminded of how thankful I am for ECFE.
For those of you who don’t know… Early Childhood Family Education (aka ECFE) is a statewide program through the public schools here in Minnesota.
“ECFE is based on the idea that the family provides a child’s first and most important learning environment, and parents are a child’s first and most significant teachers. ECFE works to strengthen families and enhance the ability of all parents to provide the best possible environment for the healthy growth and development of their children.”
It has given me so much it’s hard to know where to start. While I was pregnant with Oscar a woman came into the Textile Center (where I was working at the time) and started telling me about ECFE. She was an older woman, with grown children, and she said that she has a group of woman that she still gets together with monthly all these years later and they’d been in ECFE together while their children were very small. I decided it would be really nice to meet some other parents and would be a good activity for Oscar and I to do together. When Oscar was 9 months old we started. I quickly realized how much Oscar and I both benefited from this. That was four years ago and we’ve been going ever since. I’ve made some really great friends, whom I’m extremely thankful for. Oscar, being the social guy that he is, loved it and loved going. Last year was a challenge with the girls, we had a hard time finding a class that was a good fit. But we kept trying. This year it’s just the girls and I, while Oscar is at preschool. We have become part of an amazing group of families and educators, it feels like a great fit. Every week I am learning more about how to be a parent and about my own personal parenting philosophy. It is also giving my girls a chance to gain some independence, from me and from each other (the teachers have told me they actually play with other kids! Who knew?!). I am thankful for the other parents involved, the educators who share their passion and knowledge, and that the state of Minnesota supports this amazing program. Thank you, thank you, thank you.